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                  2014年江蘇省徐州市中考作文優秀范文及點評

                  推薦人:夏天 來源: 愛散文 時間: 2017-12-25 11:02 閱讀:

                    一、【真題再現】

                    題目:閱讀,曾讓我感動(65分,含書寫分5分)

                    要求:①內容真實,不得抄襲;②書寫工整,不得少于600字。③除詩歌外,文體不限。④文中不要出現真實的地名、校名、人名。

                    

                    二、【思路解析】

                    徐州市2014年中考作文考查延續了2013年中考命題作文的考查方式。作文題目在審題上沒有太大障礙,出題意圖比較明確,每個考生都能有話可說。這道作文題既考查考生的寫作能力,也檢查考生的閱讀能力和閱讀收獲。同時,也引導學生關注自己課內和課外閱讀生活的積累、思考和感悟。

                    審題時,應當把握題目中“閱讀”、“曾”、“我”、“感動”這個幾個詞。

                    閱讀是主動獲取知識,陶冶情操,提升自我的過程。一般意義上的“閱讀”,是指從文字和圖片等視覺材料中獲取信息。作為文藝性語詞的“閱讀”,則可虛化為“觀察”“欣賞”“品味”“神思”等。因此“閱讀”的對象可以是令人掩卷沉思的名著經典,積淀人類智慧的哲學史學等;也還可以是含辛茹苦的父母,諄諄教導的老師,親密無間的朋友;可以是讓人陶醉的大自然的花草樹木;也可以是人生的喜怒哀樂、社會的善惡美丑……

                    “曾”,是曾經,表示從前有過某種行為或情況,而不是現在和將來。因此,寫作內容應是發生在從前的讓“我”感動,帶給“我”深遠影響的“閱讀”經歷。

                    “我”,寫作主體,而不是我們,不是你,不是他、她們。一定要寫出自我的讀書經歷或生活經驗。

                    “感動”,受外界事物影響而引起內心激動。自己在讀書經歷中或生活經驗中的感動是什么呢?可以是生活中或書中某個人物的命運,可是以是某部作品的思想,可以是某部作品的精彩情節,等等。要著重寫出自己內心激動的過程和程度,抒發自己的內心感受,表達自己的內心情緒。作為題目的核心詞語,敘寫單一層面的“感動”,還是多層面有梯度的“感動”,決定著考生作文立意的高低。

                    這篇作文主要要關注三方面,“閱讀”的內容、“我”“感動”。從文體上看,寫成記敘自己的真實閱讀體驗的比較復雜記敘文,或寫成記敘、議論、抒情結合的散文,都可以的。

                    三、【考場佳作】

                    閱讀,曾讓我感動

                    獨倚軒窗,窗外細雨紛紛,品一杯香茗,亮一盞小燈,擁一本好書,任淚水涌出了眼眶。

                    無云時借兩縷陽光暖暖身子,有雨時對著雨兒傾訴心腸。閑暇時靜坐讀書,在書中感悟古今中外的悲喜人生,一次又一次地陷入跌宕起伏的情感漩渦,一次又一次地被閱讀感動。

                    我曾被唐詩宋詞中文人的大情懷所感動過。我仿佛看到范希文在岳陽樓上悲壯地呼喊著“先天下之憂而憂,后天下之樂而樂”,聆聽杜子美“安得廣廈千萬間,大庇天下寒士俱歡顏,吾廬獨破受凍死亦足”赤誠吟哦。是啊,帝王昏庸,官場黑暗,燈紅酒綠,醉生夢死。多少有志之士沉迷在溫柔鄉忘了社稷江山黎民百姓,雄心壯志一點一點被西湖歌舞銷蝕,追名逐利最終害了自己苦了百姓。紅塵世俗莫不如此,就連當年“氣吞萬里如虎”的辛棄疾也慨嘆“闌干拍遍,無人會登臨意”;就連在朝堂之上讓貴妃磨硯,力士脫靴,“仰天大笑出門去,我輩豈是蓬蒿人”的李白也游山玩水去也。滿身正氣怎能在官場上污了自己?盛唐也罷大宋也好,是杜拾遺、范文正公們,釀一壇烈酒,留后人暢飲;播一份正義,囑咐歲月收藏。

                    我也曾被元曲雜劇中的男女癡情所感動。她是大府千金小姐,他是十年寒窗窮書生,她女伴男裝入學府對他傾心,無奈他太過愚鈍不知她是女郎,兩人的情愫,感天動地,她是祝英臺,他是梁山伯,他許她一個承諾,生生世世,他還她個化蝶,纏纏綿綿,比翼雙飛。這樣的愛情,被珍藏在書中,吟誦其中的一字一句,像一杯清茶,時久彌香,永世不忘。

                    又何人讓我潸然淚下?《史記》中的蘇武!北海牧羊十九載,漢家天子早已換人,可你依舊拿著那根代表朝廷的旌節眺望遠方,癡癡地等,癡癡地盼,守候一份忠義氣節,你足以讓我感到動!

                    我細細地咀嚼文字,細數閱讀帶給我的感動。嗅著裊裊不絕的書香,讓感動流過每一條血脈,打開心扉,讓感動靜靜地在心中蕩漾,把泛起點點的漣漪,永久珍藏。

                    日記里留下如下詩句:昨夜寒窗月下,淺斟慢吟品茶,一簾清雨懸掛,書香漫卷淚花。

                    四、【名師點評】

                    考生文學素材積累豐富,詩詞名句,歷史故事,信手拈來,隨心所欲。把自己的思想情感滲透在著歷史人物、歷史事件中,考生在閱讀中訴說著自己的感動。

                    開篇頗具畫面感的語言引起下文,結尾詩句深化了自己的感動,升華了文章主題。

                    美文閲讀網(MeiWeN.Com.cn)中考作文欄目為您提供大量精選中考滿分作文,包含不同類型的中考滿分作文精選及中考作文范文,同時也歡迎讀者投稿發表您的作文。

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